THE COUNTDOWN

EIGHT DAYS TO THE AGE OF OBAMIUS

Posted at 7:03 a.m. ET

In eight days the Age of Obamius begins.  You can see the smiles on the faces of all the anthropologists already.  Ditto ethnic studies departments.  Finally, they won't have to meet in back allies and faculty lounges.

We can report the following:

- Michelle Obama admitted she doesn't know what her husband actually stands for either, but promised to find out and tape it.  Her mother says she's coming to live in the White House because she wants to learn what Barack Obama is really like.

- CIA Director-designate Leon Panetta was stopped by guards when he tried to get into a transition meeting wearing a CIA disguise.  The guards knew it was a fake because Monica Lewinsky never wore red.

- After being denied his request for a 19-gun inaugural salute, Joe Biden is negotiating for Jack Bauer to visit and fire a cap pistol.

- Frustrated by his inability to find a new secretary of commerce, after Bill Richardson's embarrassing withdrawal, President-elect Obama gave the assignment to Chicago political operatives, who immediately put the seat on e-bay.

- Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, who had some criticism last week of the president-elect's transition team, arrived in the Senate wearing a head bandage, and giving effusive praise to the whole Obama operation.  It's rumored she was kidnapped over the weekend and given an Obatomy.

January 12, 2009.